[ALBSA-Info] Learning about people

[Eriola Kruja]

liri thote: paske pas dite te keqe me tipsa. :))))

On Tue, 20 Mar 2001, etel wrote:

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> Have you ever thought how fascinating it is to try to understand people, or
> listen to their stories? Well, I have, because it amazes me how much your
> lips can stratch from smiling when you listen to people. As a two-times
> immigrant in the course of four years I have had the chance to learn a lot
> from people of different cultures and mentalities. I have lived in Albania,
> Greece, and now United States, three countries so radically different from
> each other, yet when it comes to people I have come to the conclusion that
> no matter where you go you are going to come across three very amusing
> types of people: the arrogant the shallow, and those never happy no matter
> what.
> 
> Now, I find arrogant people entertaining because they really think they are
> something. You know how the saying goes, "Listen to the fool. EVen they
> have something to teach you." You can easily recognize these people by what
> they say: Key word: "I". The interesting thing about them is that they so
> strongly believe they are the best and they know everything than when you
> talk to them you can feel how desperately they need attention. They usually
> are very critical of others and I believe they have developed some type of
> inferiority complex which they try to hide by coming out as very
> presemptuous, and terribly amusing for that matter. Whenever I have
> conversations with these people I've noticed I nod quite a bit; they won't
> notice if you dont by the way; they're too busy taking care of their
> perfect image. Remember: Attention is what they need from you. If you ever
> feel the need to become their friend, please remember you have to learn to
> be humble. Dont get me wrong: YOU WONT LEARN THAT FROM THEM. It's just that
> when they notice you are the humble type they will like you. Another thing
> that I have noticed is that you have to develop the virtue of being
> patient. They will talk forever about the perfection in them...I think they
> really like to hear their own voice, and I've always suspected to them it
> probably sounds like a nightengale's voice. If you are expecting them to
> remember your name, age or social status: YOU'RE WRONG. That means you are
> going to gather so much information about them that you might as well start
> writing their memoir. Like this girl who works with me. Absolutely
> sophisticated. Modesty is a word whose meaning fades if mentioned in the
> same sentence with her name. By the second day I had learned by heart her
> favorite classical composers, painters, poets, and the names of all the
> guys who thought she was ubelievably interesting. In the short time we
> talked I was told I was cute, but I needed to work on fixing my hair, buy
> another purse, and wear different make-up. I only smiled and released an
> innocent sigh thinking "Oh my god, what was going to be of me without her."
> 
> You think you've had your share of interesting people. Wrong. There's more
> for yours and mine entertainment. Shallow people. These are the folks whose
> world is as big as the area from their eyes to the tip of their nose.
> Things to look for in these people: Materialism, egoism, no sensibility,
> and if you add some arrogance you get a fine mixture. Most people would
> think of politicians and rich folks as such, but really if you think of it
> you meet these characters everywhere. YOu might have known someone who you
> thought was really mature, whose only big worry was her nails, and the
> split ends of her hair. Not to mention that there are girls as old as 11
> years old being sold as prostitutes and being sexually mutilated in other
> parts of the world. Oh yeah, I forgot, we dont really have time to think of
> these things during our busy lives, but Im hoping most of us at least care.
> Shallow people dont know how to care. Suffering is an unknown notion for
> them and if someone is in need....too bad life is not fair for everyone.
> What really makes me find them interesting is the fact thet they are
> oblivious to little things that make me smile; like the rising of the sun,
> a spring day, a smile. SOmetimes you look into their eyes and wonder if
> they ever feel thankful they have a roof aboove their head, a bed to sleep
> in,and some food for the day. Probably not. A little trick here. If you
> ever thinking of making fun of them tell them their best friend has bought
> the best car ever, and he's dating the hottest girl in town, and dont'
> forget to mention she owns a private jet. A piece of advice. It's always
> safe to keep a small fan in your pocket just in case they faint from the
> most worrisome piece of information they have ever received. If you tell
> them there's more important things in life than having money stacked under
> your pillow they will probably think there's a need for an interpreter due
> to language differences between the two of you. Don't forget: "I dont care"
> is what makes up most of their vocabulary.
> 
> Last but not least, these are the people who I love the most. They are
> never happy with anything. What distinguishes them from others is the fact
> that they walk around carrying a serious face, and if you happen to smile
> in front of them, they'll think you dont know the real meaning of life. I
> laugh at these people when they come to eat at the restaurant I work at as
> a waitress. You can distinguish them from the furthest corner of the
> restaurant. At the dinner table they sit without looking at me when I
> approach them with a smile asking about their order. I have never thought I
> have an intimidating figure, but I have started to doubt they are scared of
> smiling waitresses. I call them Franksteins. How does a waiter know they're
> going to have an interesting evening? When these people sit in their
> section and after all the service they get, they will ultimately want to
> complain to a menager. After all is done for them, they will walk out
> furious threatening they will never come back. Big loss for the
> restaurant....for me too, I wont have anybody to make fun of. Like this
> lady I served to once. She seemed to be unhappy even of her own shadow.
> After all the service she got, I realized it was not me, or my service, it
> was the fact that she couldn't find one more thing to complain about. I
> forgot to suggest she could complain about my height. Then, there's your
> cooworkers. Those who work hard and never complain, and those who drag
> their feet in total unhappiness because they are carrying two plates from
> the kitchen door 10 feet to the dishpit. If you tell them maybe they need
> to get another job, they will despise you. If you tell them maybe it's not
> as bad, at least they're taking some money home, they will give you this
> "go-to-hell-look". I try...but it's never easy to make these people happy.
> At least I can entertain myself when Im having a bad night.
> 
> So, what do you guys think? Life is not as boring after all. I have
> realized that there is so much you can learn about human nature from every
> person you meet. If you only mastered the skill of listening more carefully
> you'll find people so interesting, you will be amazed at how different yet
> fundamentally similar we all are. In the end there should be no
> prejudices...we all have our own things people laugh at. The arrogant, the
> shallow people, and those never happy irritate us most of the times, but
> what would life be without the lessons they teach us? The point is: Have
> fun while learning about yourself and others. It's not as bad as it seems.
> 
> 
> 
> Texas, 2001
> Etel H.
> 
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