[ALBSA-Info] Learning about people

[etel]

Have you ever thought how fascinating it is to try to understand people, or
listen to their stories? Well, I have, because it amazes me how much your
lips can stratch from smiling when you listen to people. As a two-times
immigrant in the course of four years I have had the chance to learn a lot
from people of different cultures and mentalities. I have lived in Albania,
Greece, and now United States, three countries so radically different from
each other, yet when it comes to people I have come to the conclusion that
no matter where you go you are going to come across three very amusing
types of people: the arrogant the shallow, and those never happy no matter
what.

Now, I find arrogant people entertaining because they really think they are
something. You know how the saying goes, "Listen to the fool. EVen they
have something to teach you." You can easily recognize these people by what
they say: Key word: "I". The interesting thing about them is that they so
strongly believe they are the best and they know everything than when you
talk to them you can feel how desperately they need attention. They usually
are very critical of others and I believe they have developed some type of
inferiority complex which they try to hide by coming out as very
presemptuous, and terribly amusing for that matter. Whenever I have
conversations with these people I've noticed I nod quite a bit; they won't
notice if you dont by the way; they're too busy taking care of their
perfect image. Remember: Attention is what they need from you. If you ever
feel the need to become their friend, please remember you have to learn to
be humble. Dont get me wrong: YOU WONT LEARN THAT FROM THEM. It's just that
when they notice you are the humble type they will like you. Another thing
that I have noticed is that you have to develop the virtue of being
patient. They will talk forever about the perfection in them...I think they
really like to hear their own voice, and I've always suspected to them it
probably sounds like a nightengale's voice. If you are expecting them to
remember your name, age or social status: YOU'RE WRONG. That means you are
going to gather so much information about them that you might as well start
writing their memoir. Like this girl who works with me. Absolutely
sophisticated. Modesty is a word whose meaning fades if mentioned in the
same sentence with her name. By the second day I had learned by heart her
favorite classical composers, painters, poets, and the names of all the
guys who thought she was ubelievably interesting. In the short time we
talked I was told I was cute, but I needed to work on fixing my hair, buy
another purse, and wear different make-up. I only smiled and released an
innocent sigh thinking "Oh my god, what was going to be of me without her."

You think you've had your share of interesting people. Wrong. There's more
for yours and mine entertainment. Shallow people. These are the folks whose
world is as big as the area from their eyes to the tip of their nose.
Things to look for in these people: Materialism, egoism, no sensibility,
and if you add some arrogance you get a fine mixture. Most people would
think of politicians and rich folks as such, but really if you think of it
you meet these characters everywhere. YOu might have known someone who you
thought was really mature, whose only big worry was her nails, and the
split ends of her hair. Not to mention that there are girls as old as 11
years old being sold as prostitutes and being sexually mutilated in other
parts of the world. Oh yeah, I forgot, we dont really have time to think of
these things during our busy lives, but Im hoping most of us at least care.
Shallow people dont know how to care. Suffering is an unknown notion for
them and if someone is in need....too bad life is not fair for everyone.
What really makes me find them interesting is the fact thet they are
oblivious to little things that make me smile; like the rising of the sun,
a spring day, a smile. SOmetimes you look into their eyes and wonder if
they ever feel thankful they have a roof aboove their head, a bed to sleep
in,and some food for the day. Probably not. A little trick here. If you
ever thinking of making fun of them tell them their best friend has bought
the best car ever, and he's dating the hottest girl in town, and dont'
forget to mention she owns a private jet. A piece of advice. It's always
safe to keep a small fan in your pocket just in case they faint from the
most worrisome piece of information they have ever received. If you tell
them there's more important things in life than having money stacked under
your pillow they will probably think there's a need for an interpreter due
to language differences between the two of you. Don't forget: "I dont care"
is what makes up most of their vocabulary.

Last but not least, these are the people who I love the most. They are
never happy with anything. What distinguishes them from others is the fact
that they walk around carrying a serious face, and if you happen to smile
in front of them, they'll think you dont know the real meaning of life. I
laugh at these people when they come to eat at the restaurant I work at as
a waitress. You can distinguish them from the furthest corner of the
restaurant. At the dinner table they sit without looking at me when I
approach them with a smile asking about their order. I have never thought I
have an intimidating figure, but I have started to doubt they are scared of
smiling waitresses. I call them Franksteins. How does a waiter know they're
going to have an interesting evening? When these people sit in their
section and after all the service they get, they will ultimately want to
complain to a menager. After all is done for them, they will walk out
furious threatening they will never come back. Big loss for the
restaurant....for me too, I wont have anybody to make fun of. Like this
lady I served to once. She seemed to be unhappy even of her own shadow.
After all the service she got, I realized it was not me, or my service, it
was the fact that she couldn't find one more thing to complain about. I
forgot to suggest she could complain about my height. Then, there's your
cooworkers. Those who work hard and never complain, and those who drag
their feet in total unhappiness because they are carrying two plates from
the kitchen door 10 feet to the dishpit. If you tell them maybe they need
to get another job, they will despise you. If you tell them maybe it's not
as bad, at least they're taking some money home, they will give you this
"go-to-hell-look". I try...but it's never easy to make these people happy.
At least I can entertain myself when Im having a bad night.

So, what do you guys think? Life is not as boring after all. I have
realized that there is so much you can learn about human nature from every
person you meet. If you only mastered the skill of listening more carefully
you'll find people so interesting, you will be amazed at how different yet
fundamentally similar we all are. In the end there should be no
prejudices...we all have our own things people laugh at. The arrogant, the
shallow people, and those never happy irritate us most of the times, but
what would life be without the lessons they teach us? The point is: Have
fun while learning about yourself and others. It's not as bad as it seems.



Texas, 2001
Etel H.